I previously wrote a post, How to Heal From Pregnancy Loss- My Story + What I’ve Done to Move Forward. I used this post to tell my story but knew I wanted to write more on how you can support someone who experienced pregnancy loss.
It’s not easy to watch someone you care about go through something like this. It is such a sensitive topic that you may be concerned about saying or doing the wrong thing.
I hope this post can provide you some guidance on the best ways to support someone who experienced pregnancy loss.
Ways to Support Someone Who Had a Miscarriage
You don’t have to feel like you are overbearing. Make it a point to reach out once every few days or at least once a week to see how mom is doing. But make sure you are checking in on all family- the father, siblings, etc. This experience takes a toll on anyone involved and it’s important that no one feels left out.
Offer to Babysit
If the person you know has other children, a tremendous help would be offering to babysit. While the mother may want to be close to her other children during this time, she may also want a break even if it’s for a few hours. Depending on the age of the children, it may be a good distraction for them as well.
Offer Any Other Help
Any other help you’re able to give would be appreciated. You can offer to grocery shop, do laundry, yard work, etc. Anything that you can take off of their plate can be a major help during this time.
What You Can Say to Support Someone Through a Miscarriage
As an outsider, the toughest part is not knowing the right thing to say. You may feel worried that you might say something that will strike a nerve, even if it was said with good intenent.
These are some common phrases you should avoid:
- At least you can get pregnant
- You can always try again
- At least it happened early on
There’s more to that list, but you get the idea. When I went through my loss, these phrases personally helped me stay positive and got me through. But I completely understand how these things can be triggering and unhelpful, even when they are said with good intentions.
Here are some things you can say instead:
- I am so sorry for your loss
- What can I do to help?
- I’m here whenever you are ready to talk about it
- I’m praying for you
What You Can Give
Everyone is different. If this happens to someone you are close to, you’ll know them better than anyone else. You can pick some of these ideas you know they would appreciate getting:
- Send a card
- Bring food/coffee
- Spa-day essentials: face masks, bath bombs, comfy slippers
- Send flowers
- Journal/prayer journal
Plan a Day Out
For me, it was essential to start getting out of the house and getting back to normalcy the best I could. When they’re ready, enjoy a day out doing some of their favorite things-shopping, going out to eat, see a movie, etc.
If they aren’t up for going out in public, invite them over to your house. This way, they can get out of the house but still be somewhere private.
Final Thoughts on How to Support Someone Who Experienced Pregnancy Loss
I hope this post gave you some guidance in how you can be a good friend to someone who had a miscarriage. The most important thing you can do is make it known that you are there for them in any way they need.